Woot Woot Friday!!!

1. Today I have started my Christmas Break!! It is the first "free" break since I was in High School! I turned in my 2 papers, my seminar portfolio, and took my 2 exams, and now it's time to relax! For a little bit anyway, because I have some work to do over the break. 

2. Steve also has off! So we are heading down to his family's house for a few days! We'll also look at a wedding venue that I'm very interested in! I'm excited about that! I'll also make my famous pumpkin chocolate chip cookies!! Yummmm! 

3. I started writing in my journal again. I know that I am able to express my feelings more in it, which helps me not bottle them up so much. So we will see how long that lasts!!

4. I don't really have 7 things to say. Hmm...my brother is heading home for the holidays! I'm going to webcam with my family on Christmas Day since I won't be able to call. That should be nice!! 

5. We went to the Farmer's Market today! We usually don't walk around, but today we did! So we got some ciabatta bread, basil-infused olive oil, cheese I had never heard of but it was so good, and these rice balls stuffed with amazingness that we'll have for dinner!! I seriously should go there all the time!

6. I hope that everyone has an amazing holiday full of love and gratefulness!! I'm grateful for my family and my friends being in my life! I hope you all are too :) 

7. Michelle out! :)

*Sigh*

I don't really have a reason to feel this way, but lately I've been feeling pretty lonely. Actually, for the last year or so I have been feeling that way. Ever since I left Lincoln. I made some amazing friends there that lived close to me. Then I moved to Florida and had to make new friends, but I distanced myself because I knew I'd be leaving. I have friends here, but I know it takes time to get really close. I also feel like I don't relate to many people here anyway. Not that I've met everyone at school or anything. I usually become good friends with people that are older than me, so it's a big change not having that.

Steve is also away during the week. I know Christmas Break is coming up, and that'll help. I guess I miss my family too. I don't know. I feel distanced from everyone. Disconnected.

I shouldn't complain, really. I have an amazing life. I live in the country that I love, I am going to school for something I love, and I have an amazing fiance and an amazing family in my life. I just get down sometimes because I miss everyone!

Anyway, I got a job at a new Cafe a few weeks ago, and ended up hating it. I was on my feet for 5-8 hours a day, 3 days a week, and it was taking its toll on my schoolwork and my body. I couldn't walk for 2 days after working. And I was too exhausted to work. It wasn't worth it, I had to quit. The boss was the most annoying and frustrating man too. So now I'm thankful to have my days off again, especially my weekends since it's the only time I see Steve, and they were having me work Saturday and Sunday all day. Thank goodness for the money from the VA coming through!!

Next week is the end of term! I can't believe it! I have one more paper to write and an exam to study for, which I've already started anyway. I love to write research papers if it's something I'm interested in. I also just dedicate one day to writing it, because I can't do it over a course of a few days. I don't take breaks either, I just get them done in a few hours. If I take a proper break, then I will get writer's block easily. I got a B on my assignment for Education!! Woo! I think their B's equal A's for America though, because a D is still an average score. Who knows, really!

I got my ear pierced yesterday! My tragus one didn't work out, so I got 2 piercings, and I want to get a few more going along the outside of my ear. It's pretty!!

We want to go to Germany before Christmas for the Christmas Markets!! We've been talking about it for awhile, and now it's totally doable! I've never been, and I loooved the Lincoln Christmas Market the two times I went. I need a trip, badly. I love living in Europe because of the easy travel! Honestly, an airline ticket and a hotel for a few nights is equivalent to the price of flying from New Jersey to California!!!

I was just talking to my friend, Charlotte, about wedding plans! She got me all excited and recommended so much!! I'll be turning to her a lot, I think, for the planning, since I have no idea what I'm doing. We won't start planning til January though. It's scary and exciting!! I love this dress, but only if it comes in ivory! And shows no cleavage.

Christmas is going to be spent in Cornwall this year with Steve's family. They always treat me like family, it's really nice. And I looove Cornwall. I haven't been to my own home for Christmas since 2007 I think. It made me sad thinking about it the other day.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a lovely December so far!! These months are going by so fast. Enjoy them! <3

Quick Takes Friday!!

1. Happy Late Thanksgiving, everyone!! There is so much to be thankful for! I am especially thankful for my family and friends being in my life!! That's all I could ever hope for!! To celebrate, I went to school for 5 hours, then I made myself a nice pasta bake. Steve wasn't around so I didn't actually celebrate the holiday with food. I did end up getting kind of lonely because it's a holiday for families, isn't it? But in the end, I'm just thankful to HAVE a family.

2. Our couches are heeere! Well, not in our house until Wednesday. It would have been nice to have them here this weekend buuut we've waited this long, so I guess it doesn't matter.

3. I'm really enjoying school and learning about Psychology, especially when I get to talk about it with my uncle Scott since he's been through all of this! I am going to start being more disciplined and reading 1 journal article a week to improve both my knowledge and writing.

4. It is fuhreeeezing here!!! Oh my gosh, I just checked the temp and it's 25 degrees out!! Brrrr! When I walk to school, I'm ice cold. But since it's an uphill walk, I start sweating as I near the end of it, and when I walk into my classes, I'm sweating like crazy. It's sooo embarrassing, but at least it's a workout.

5. Speaking of workouts, Steve said my 3 workout DVDs have arrived!! I got a Bellydancing one, a regular dance one, and a Bollywood one!! I'm soooo excited! It's cheaper than joining a gym at this point. Plus I like to go there for the classes, not for the equipment. Working out should be fun, no? ;)

6. Oh! I got a job. It's in this brand new coffee shop that just opened up Wednesday. It's sooo cute there! I start tomorrow alllll day, and then Sunday for most of the day. It kind of upsets me because the only time I see Steve now is during the weekends, and now I'll be at work for those. So I'm thinking hard of what I want to do, especially if the VA pays me soon, which they said the should! Fingers crossed!

7. Finally, please keep praying for my wonderful cousin, Frankie. I haven't talked to him in awhile, so I'll try again next week to see how he's doing. He means so much to me and I don't want to lose him. We've already lost so many from his family, we don't want to lose him too. I love you, Frankie!


I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and week next week!! <3

Quick Takes Friiiiiday!

1. We're engaaaaged! Woooo!! It's crazy to actually think that I'm all grown up now. It still feels surreal! I can't believe that we're going to be planning a wedding! The best part is that it'll be with the man of my dreams! It happened on the eve of our 2 year anniversary because he was leaving for school and wasn't going to be with me on the actual anniversary. Sooo it was Halloween! Haha! He tells me know he was going to whisk (not the utensil!) me away to Paris or somewhere like that, but we had a visitor :)

2. I'm thinking that I want to do the Romantic themed wedding-with antique pink roses and candles everywhere! Then we're going to put "Love" in different languages on a card on each table! I know, minor details, we still need to set a date and all of that, but it's fun to look around!! 

3. I finally have Beauty and the Beast!! My faaavorite movie of all time! I watched it last night for the first time in aaages, and I was crying! It was so sad and so sweet all at the same time! I love Belle and Lumiere! Awww aaaand the beast is ginger, just like Steve! And Belle, of course, is brunette! It's meant to be! ;)

4. I bought some fun sprinkles so I can bake cupcakes! Buuut I'm missing the baking powder...no biggie! This amazing recipe I bought has so many awesome looking cupcakes! But I want to create my own...I'm going to try to bake them with Bailey's Pouring Cream, and then later I'll bake some with almond. I want to decorate them all pretty-like!

5. Still no couches. But we don't mind sitting on camper chairs in the mean-time!

6. Yesterday was Veteran's Day! It's wierd to think I'm out of the military now and that I'm not longer associated with it. Happy Late Veteran's Day to all who served and all who are still serving, like my brother!!

7. As you can tell, I don't have much to say. Sorry!! I'll take pictures of my cupcakes if they look cute enough!! Have a great weekend everyone!

Quick Takes Friday!!

1. My very good friend, Arezou, is visiting us this weekend from Germany! She arrived last night and is staying through Sunday! We are taking her to a pub for dinner tonight, then off to Lincoln for the Manor Halloween Party on Saturday! Halloween is her faaave holiday so she's going to love this! Plus it gives her a break from German speakers all around.

2. The apartment is coming along great! It's so beautiful. I love being able to go home and walk to school each day since it's close! We are still hanging out on camper chairs, but it's no big deal since they recline back. We just got the most comfortable king-sized mattress (that's queen-sized in the US), and I just want to sleep in it all day!

3. I got a cold Monday because I stupidly walked to school that morning not wearing a coat, only a cardigan, and there was frost on the ground. I didn't wear a coat because normally I sweat so much walking up the hill so I thought I could cool down that way! Whoops! But I think it's finally clearing out and I'm not snoring as much (sorry, Steve!).

4. School is good, I feel a little behind though. I'm not sure why, I think I need to study and review more. I just completed my first paper for my Intro to Education Studies class, and I get to turn that in Monday. There are a lot of interesting areas in the classes I'm taking though. But some are boring as well. Oh well! I'm just happy to be a student!!

5. The VA pretty much sucks and hasn't paid me my 9/11 bill benefits! But they finally paid me part of my disability, which is really nice!! Patience is a virtue, I know. So I gotta look for a job next week! There are a lot of little shops around our apartment, so hopefully it shouldn't be too hard to find.

6. Steve is moving Monday! Well, he technically moved today, but no more Digby for him!! I'm so excited for what is going to happen for him in the future! I won't really see him throughout the week though :( I guess I'll get more schoolwork done since he won't be there!

7. Finally, Monday marks our 2 year anniversary! It doesn't feel like 2 years-it feels both shorter and longer than what it is. He got me a beautiful watch! I got him roof racks for his car...haha! Anyway, I'm happy to have spent the last 2 years with him, even with a year apart! I love you, Steven!

My Cousin, Frankie

This blog is dedicated to my most brave cousin, Frankie. You see, about 7 years ago, he was diagnosed with cancer and wasn't given long to live. Soon after that diagnosis, his father, my Uncle Mike, passed away. 3 months later, my cousin, his brother Nino, passed away. 7 months later, his mother, my Aunt Lina, passed away. He and his sister were left to suffer. But my cousin Frankie has been a fighter. He has a beautiful wife and daughter. He fought the cancer.

Within the last few years, he has had to have a bone marrow transplant. Unfortunately, it hasn't worked well in his body and he has a condition where his lungs don't work as well as they should, meaning he is on oxygen.

My cousin is only 30 years old. He has always defended me against any boys being mean to me in High School. He has always secretly been my favorite cousin on my mother's side.

When I was in Arizona for a month before coming here, he was in the ICU for about a week. I went and visited him nearly every day. He wasn't given long to live, but since he's a fighter, he went through it and made it out! I feel like I got to know him again during that time because I haven't been around in the last 7 years. It was nice to be able to talk to him and just joke around.

I just found out yesterday that his lungs are not working right again and that they never will. The doctor gives him 1 month. Now, I don't believe in things like that. Doctors can't just give time limits. They have given him a time limit 3 times now, well that I know of. They have given others that I know time limits and they have made it past that. Therefore, I know he will make it. I have full faith in his bravery and in God that he will make it through this because he wants to. He wants to be there for his family.

Frankie, if you read this, I love you so so much and I am so proud of you for everything you've ever done and are still doing.

Frankie is on the left and Nino is on the right. This was on Frankie's wedding day! 

Living the English Dream...

I haven't written in a few weeks because it's been such a whirlwind!! I got my Visa on a Friday and left the next Sunday!

I am SO happy to be here! THIS is my dream! I worked towards this for a long time and finally it has fallen into place!! Everything about England makes me happy-the buildings, the roads, the people, the fashion, the food, everything! I feel so at home here and everyday, my heart is fulfilled!!!

And bonus!! Steve is here, of course!! He took leave for 2 weeks and we've been spending a lot of time together! He's at work now in Lincoln so I'm a little sad, but he'll be back tomorrow!

Going to school is absolutely amazing. Being a student is seriously the best feeling. Going to school without wearing a uniform is perfect!! My nails are painted purple and I don't have to worry about taking the polish off before Monday! I love it! I am an oldie though-everyone at school is 18! But I've met so many wonderful people, and I can't wait to get to know them over the next few years!

Steve and I found a lovely apartment 1 mile away from school! It's a brand new apartment building with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a spiral staircase that leads up to the mezzanine bedroom! And it's about 400 dollars less than what I get for housing allowance! I'll be able to walk to school easily, which saves me getting a car straight away.

I also want to learn Italian! A local college teaches it and I'd like to go! Especially before I meet my Italian family!!

I celebrated my birthday in London!! How perfect is that? Steve and I took the train there on Friday and stayed at this really nice hotel for the night. We ate at this vegan Japanese restaurant that was not worth the money (sorry Steve!), then we went and watched The Phantom of the Opera in the West End, sort of like our Broadway! Oh my gosh. It was AMAZING. I would see it again!! Even Steve liked it! We then walked around London and looked at the pretty buildings, then went to Big Ben and took some beautiful pictures. I can't post them on here because the internet is too slow! But that was really my favorite birthday. There is no better way to spend my quarter-of-a-century birthday! The last few b-days I had were really lame. I was taken to lunch for 2 of them but I didn't know anyone because I had just moved to wherever it was. So this one was very special to me.

This weekend we are going to Sian's birthday party, then heading off to Cornwall for the rest of the weekend!! I love Cornwall. I want to live there one day!

I love love looove being here. I am so thankful that I am living my dream!!

One last thing...please pray for my Uncle Chris who was submitted to the hospital for heart surgery. He's doing better now and is in the ICU for recovery. Also, my cousin Franky, who just had pneumonia and thankfully got out of the hospital. Thank you!!

I hope everyone is doing amazingly well!! <3

Quick Takes-Thanks Lenae!

1

1. This is my first time attempting Quick Takes, and I'm quite excited! I read it on Lenae's blog all the time! :)

2. I received my Visa today in the mail! Which led to me buying my nonstop plane ticket to England for Sunday!! I'll arrive Monday afternoon, Steve will pick me up, and we'll head to school so I can enroll for classes!!

3. Steve and I have been dreaming of this moment since the day I left England one year ago! I imagine it in my head-coming through the security checkpoint and seeing him wait for me so we can spend the rest of our lives together! None of this 1-2 weeks together every few months!!

4. I realized that I accumulated too much while home for the past month. So I am shipping another box out!! It's full of cookbooks, clothes, and some shoes!

5. Has anyone ever heard of Worry Dolls?? Well, I used to LOVE them as a kid and I would keep them under my pillow! I found them at Barnes and Noble the other day and had to buy them! They take away all of your worries, and they are super cute!

6. I am really going to miss my two little boys, especially my little Pea in a Pod, Coco. We are attached at the hip. We just have this attachment that I have never really had with any animals! All he does is cuddle up to me and lick me. Haha! I love him so much. I sing "Chim-chiminey chim-chiminey chim chim cherooo" to him because he has a big whisker on his chin, and Chim sounds like Chin. I guess I could sing Mr. Finnigan. You see how he lays on me??

7. And to save the best for last-I want to thank God for making my dreams come true. Over the last few years, I've gotten close to God. After all, he saved my brother, my dad, my aunt, and my cousin when they all almost died. He was/is always there for me when I need him, holding my hand through everything. I respect people's decision not to believe in God, but I don't understand it because he has done so much for me.


Thanks, everyone, for sharing a new part of my blog with me! I can't wait to update you with my newest adventures!!!

Beginnings...

My life is finally going to start!!!! My visa was approved and it's on its way!!! I am so so happy!! You see, this morning, I woke up and spoke to Steve for an hour before he went to work. He told me not to call him if I get my visa so he still has some hope. So after he left, I went to sleep for another few hours because I sleep when I'm stressed, woke up, turned on the laptop, and BAM! There it was!!! I screeeeamed! Then I ran and hugged my mom, kissed my dad, and called Steve! He was soooo happy and so am I!!!

Jonathan's birthday is a good luck charm, apparently!! Haha!! I love it, I'm so happy! We can finally finalize the houses/apartments we want to see!

Thank you, everyone, for praying for me!!! It means so much to me and all of your prayers worked! THANK YOU LORD!!!

Gingers

I have a soft spot in my heart for gingers!! Random, I know. But I was watching a commercial with a ginger guy helping out the "loser" in school when some bullies were being mean to him. Go red hair!!! ;)

I'm. Still. Here. NO VISA! I'm dying here! I pray so hard every single day, multiple times a day, for this visa to come through. School starts MONDAY! At least it's just enrollment (which they spell it as enrolment). Please keep praying that I get it!! I'm counting on tomorrow because it's the 15 day mark, a.k.a. the visas-are-all-processed day.

I had a rough night last night. Really rough. So I went shopping today! I got a t-shirt dress, which is what I've been wanting! I also got a new Pandora charm! I got some more pearly jewelry, this beautiful scarf, and this exfoliator. I also got the most adorable measuring cups from Anthropologie!! Take a look after this paragraph! It was nice spending some time with myself.

I had to de-friend a friend the other day. She was my best friend for years. We met when I was about 15. The thing is, is that she wasn't there for me when my aunt was in the hospital. I told her the day I found out, and since that day, I had not heard from her. She never asked how I was doing or how my aunt was doing. Recently, my cousin was in the hospital and was told he wouldn't make it. Thank GOD he did. I told her about it, and since then she hasn't asked anything about me or my cousin. I realized she is not a true friend. A true friend checks on you often, just like I would. Just like I have. So, I wrote her a facebook message explaining why I haven't seen her since I've been here (because she kept texting and got her brother-in-law to write me a message on fb to tell me to hang out with her). I was completely honest and I was not angry. I just told her that I am distancing myself from her because of what happened. I wrote that August 31st and it is now September 8th. I have not heard from her at all. Instead, her sister and brother-in-law have deleted me off of facebook. Classy.

We went to The Cheesecake Factory tonight-my faaavorite place! It was deeelish!

Oh! Arezou has left to Germany! I'm so happy for her! I can't wait to be sipping bellinis in Italy with her!!

And now I've saved the best for last...Happy Birthday to my amazing big brother, Jonathan!! He is 26 years old Eastern Time-he still has another 30 minutes until his birthday starts here. But! He was born in New Jersey, so it's his birthday! I love you, Jonathan!!

Goodness me, I'm going to be 25 on September 24th. OLD!!!! Haha!!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week. <3

Laziness...

I'd like to point out that I am unemployed and homeless. Haha! And I'm just super lazy. All I want to do is sit on the couch at home and do nothing. Isn't that terrible? I think it's because of moving and all that, that now I'm tired.

I went to Illinois last week to visit my aunt, and let me tell you, it was awesome seeing her not in a hospital bed and awake!! I loved spending time with her and the rest of my family. Aaaand I saw 3 shooting stars! But I also received 31 mosquito bites. I counted. :(

I sent in my Visa application the other day!! Please pray that I get it approved! I should find out between next Wednesday and Sept 8th. I'm sooo nervous. There is so much to do! We still have to find an apartment and furnish it. We've been looking online but they go so quickly! Then I have to find a job. Oye.

It's all exciting though, as long as I get the Visa!!

I don't have much to write really. I hope everyone is doing well!!

The Next Chapter

Seven years ago, I joined the Air Force at 17 years old. It was both a scary and exciting time for me. I went through a very interesting time in Basic Training, then went on to DLI where I learned a wonderful language, Arabic, then it was off to Fort Gordon for 2 years, England for 2 years, and Hurlburt for a year. I've met hundreds of people and learned so much about life and myself. Although I've been wanting to get out for about 5 years, I am thankful for the opportunity I was given to serve in the USAF and the benefits I've received from it. Here is a picture of when I was about 18 with my good friend, Lenae! We rocked as Airman Leaders and neighbors! Haha!

Here is when I was promoted to SrA:

And when I was promoted to SSgt:

And now it's time to move on to the Next Chapter, as I like to call it!! I went from living at home in a strict environment, right to the military as a young adult, and now I feel like I am really ready for this. I was supposed to get out of the military last year but I was not ready. I had nothing set up. It's a good thing I extended for a year because I ended up finding out that England was my home and I needed to be there.

I look forward to see what's in store for me in the future! Right now it's looking like at least 4 years of being a student, being with the one I love, and being with all of my best friends!!!

4 more hours and I will be starting this Next Chapter!

Last Day...

This is my last day in my townhouse, yay!! This realty really sucked. But I got a beautiful view of the bayou from my living room and bedroom, so I'm happy!! So much has happened in here-my family visited several times, I got 2 turtles, one passed away :( , I had a fire on Valentine's Day, aaand I had my first Christmas with Steve!

Goodbye air mattress that I've slept on for 2 weeks!!! Hello real bed in a hotel!!! I can't wait!

2 more days....

Bellissimo

*Sigh*...I miss Italy. I really really do. Steve and I went to Rome for Valentine's Day and had such a good time. It really defined our relationship because we got to know each other on a whole new level, and that's when I knew I loved him. I also fell in love with the Trevi Fountain!

I say this because I just watched When In Rome. I recommend everyone watch it!! It showed the places we went in Rome and it just brought back some wonderful memories.

We also went to Venice, which is by far my favorite place in the world. I need to go back to experience it again!!!

When I go to these places, I feel like I'm where I belong. My mother is from Sicily, which I have yet to visit, and I feel like I have gone back to my roots. It's the craziest feeling, but I feel at home there, you know? It's a  good thing Steve loves Italy too!

I also just bought a cookbook called Skinny Italian by my favorite woman on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice. I'm from NJ, and I'm Italian, so I really love the show and I am loving this cookbook!!

In this cookbook, she shows you how to find the best olive oil, how to find/store/use different herbs, what kinds of pasta there are, and some deeeelish recipes!! Now, I just had to try a really simple one, even though all of them are simple! Can you believe that?! I just read through the recipes and was amazed at how easy peasy they are!!! Anyway, I made this pasta-and it was amazing. All it was, was linguine with a butter/olive oil/parsley/salt and pepper sauce. I added some cheese but it ended up clumping and it wasn't pretty. But the key ingredient? Pasta water! That's right! Save a little of the water from the pasta you were boiling, mix it with those other ingredients, and voila! You've made a natural sauce that is amazing!!

Don't be discouraged by the word "Skinny" on the book. At first I thought it was rude, but what she means is making Italian food healthy and less fattening. I never like when people think that skinny is everything and will make you beautiful. Lies, I tell you!! You as a person are beautiful, not the outside of you!! Your soul is beautiful, you know? 

So, I'm on an Italy kick as of late. I am dying to go back, and it's only been a year since I've been!

Now go try an amazing Italian dish!!

Okay, I just wanted to include one more picture. If you think Paris is romantic, try Venice. Paris wasn't romantic at all!! Venice is where it's at-just don't bring children, especially young ones, because there are bridges everywhere so strollers are hard to steer!

Arrivederci!

Getting Ready for the Next Chapter...

Soon I will be free!! Next week is my last week in the military, and I'm out the next Wednesday after that. Well, Tuesday at midnight!! I cannot believe it. I've sold nearly everything in my house. I can't believe this is actually happening!! I'm so ready for it. Last year I was not ready when I was supposed to get out, but I extended for a year and now I am fully ready to take this on!!!  I've done my 7 years and now it's time to move on.

I got to look at what classes I'll be taking in school and I cannot wait!! A couple of my electives will be Crime and Society, as well as Intro to Education Studies!!! I'm so so so excited to be a student again!!! My dad would give me crap about why I haven't gotten my Bachelor's or anything. I have my AA, but not the BA. The reason is that I don't like online classes-I don't learn anything from them. And let's face it, I was on shift work for the last 4 years. This is the first time I've really been on days besides when I went to DLI.

So I look forward to it!! It's going to be an exciting adventure!!

Wish me luck!! <3

Fabulous!!

Let me tell you how amazing Steven is. He knows that I've had a rough week, and he goes and sends me flowers to make me feel better. He is so perfect for me in every way. Look how he picked out all of my favorite flowers!!!

Love love LOVE him and the flowers!!!

Here are things I'd like to do before/after I get out of the military:

1. Cover up this ugly wing tattoo with beautiful lilies:

 2. Get a tragus and cartilage ear piercings!! I've always wanted the cartilage, even though my grandma told me that gypsies wear them and she'd never talk to me again if I got one, and the tragus is so pretty! Thanks, Arezou!

Well, that was about it actually, haha! As for the tattoo, it was a full-on mistake, but we all make those, right? Permanent or not! So! I didn't even think to cover it up until yesterday! I know it'll be expensive but it will make me so happy. Especially for my wedding day when that side of me is facing the crowd and camera!!

Only 23 more days left until I am out of the military, yay!! Then it's off to AZ, IL, and CA!!! Then a last flight to England!!!!

I hope all of you are having a great weekend!! xx

Needing to be left alone...

When I moved to England for 2 years, I was left alone by my family. I wasn't told to do this and that, no one was in my business, nothing.

I move back to the states, and WHOOSH! Everyone is in my dang business! Seriously, LEAVE ME ALONE! Do NOT get in my business. I cannot take it anymore! I cannot WAIT to leave this country so I don't have to deal with them anymore. Seriously, why do they think they can get in my business? They have no right at all because they haven't been in my business, so LEAVE ME ALONE, you know?

Ugh sorry, I'm just venting. This last week has been "be rude to Michelle" week. My dad won't freakin leave me alone. He tries to control me ALL TH E TIME! Once I leave, it's going to be small conversations on the phone, just a quick "how are you".

I am SO done with it here. Get me out of here! Just one more month...

Finally I can breathe!

So a few weeks ago I had a webcam date with my Aunt/Godmother, Dahria, who is in the hospital. And she was awake! When I was there, she was sedated and falling apart and a lot of people didn't think she'd make it-I knew she would though. She only opened her eyes once out of the whole 4 days I was there, but she didn't know what was going on.

But a few weeks ago, she was awake, still out of it, but she was looking at me.

It gets better...

The other day, we had another webcam date, and she was sitting up and NORMAL! Yes, she was still in the hospital and she can't talk cause she has a tracheotomy, but she was sticking her tongue at me like she always does, and she was just joking around and she was TYPING!!!! She was typing to me!!! I cannot believe it. I've prayed for so long to be able to talk to her again, and look! I can actually text her now! I am so happy. It just hit me that I can speak to my Aunt again.

I love her so much. She has broken records with everything that has gone on! I am going to go see her in a few weeks and I cannot wait. I got her a Pandora bracelet that she is going to love! I got it for her for when she recovers, and here she is! Recovering!

Thank you, God!!!!

Stuck On A Heating Pad...instead of going to the beach

So last Monday, I started to get some pains in my shoulder blades, out of nowhere. I just stretched them out and was fine. But then Saturday, I was getting ready to go to my brother's house 2.5 hours away, and I got shooting pains in my left shoulder blade, that I was hysterical crying and couldn't move! But I went anyway after resting for a little bit. Well, I should have listened to that sign!!! Because the next day I was ambushed by my family into having an early (on my weekend!) breakfast with this MSgt I do not know who was trying to convince me, for 2 freakin hours, about re-enlisting. RE-ENLISTING less than 2 months before I get out of the military! As if I don't have a plan!! So I was really upset with my family, and I still am.

And just now, I told Steve that I'll go to the beach, and as I get up, bam! Shoulder pains!! So I listened this time because maybe something would happen along the way, ya know? No need to take the risk. So I'm on my meds and the heating pad...

45 days until I get out of the military. That's 1 month, nearly 2 weeks. Oh my goodness. I am going to start piking out things that I want to sell and setting them aside because I am going to have a garage sale every weekend in July until everything is gone. I am also going to start advertising my big furniture on craigslist.com. I'm so nervous about it!

No word from the university on calling the VA, so I'm going to call the uni on Monday and have a word. It's been on this woman's desk for months not to call them and she hasn't had the time in those months to make a 10 minute phone call? Okay, I know it takes longer, but still!! I'm getting antsy here!

If you haven't seen Confessions of a Shopaholic yet, you should!! I relate in too many ways I guess...haha!!

Alright, I hope everyone is having a great weekend!! xxxx

In Need Of Your Prayers...

A dear friend of Steve's, Sian, has been diagnosed with cancer. We've known about it for a long time. The cancer is in her spine, which makes it inoperable. They told her she had 3-5 years to live. She did her radiotherapy and recently got the results-the cancer got worse and now she only has 12 weeks to live. She is also paralyzed from the waist down.

Now, let me tell you some background on Sian. First of all, she is Steve's very best friend. They have known each other for 9 years-since basic training! They went through Arabic school together, stationed together, and they were deployed together. She helped him get through his tough deployment, and was waiting at the airport for him when he arrived back home-it was a surprise!

I know Sian from work in the UK-she and Tertia were the first ones to take me in when others ignored me and I didn't have an account to log on to. They had me sit next to them, work with them, and just chat. It was the nicest thing since I didn't know anyone. Sian then left for her deployment, came back, I met Steve, and then we became good friends. I remember hearing from a friend of ours that she had asked if I was a good person for Steve and all of that-so caring.

She left the military and moved to be with her fiance at the time, Jamie. He is in the Royal Marines, and he is one of the nicest people I know. They got married in December and took their honeymoon in NYC, where Steve and I met up with them for New Year's Eve. We also went over to their apartment in March when I visited-and they were so sweet. They cooked us a nice dinner and we sat and chatted for awhile. Sian and Jamie love each other so much-you can just see it when they look at each other. They are both amazing people.

So what I am asking is for some prayers for our dear friend, Sian, her husband, family, and friends. She is such an important person in our lives. I am praying for a miracle, but I know that God has a plan for her. I appreciate anything you can do to send positive thoughts up high :)

This is her and Jamie, and it's my favorite picture of them:

 

Steve's Visit!

I'm trying a new font today! So Steve came here from last Tuesday through today, and we had a great time! Granted, I was pretty grumpy a lot and mean because I'm not used to having someone around, but I honestly enjoyed his company because he is such an amazing, patient person. We got to stay at a hotel that had a view of the ocean, and we went to a piano bar and it was a lot of fun! Then we sat on the beach in the moonlight-it was so nice.

We also went jet skiing!! It was amaaazing! He rode it the first half an hour with me holding him from behind, and we saw dolphins!!! And manta rays!! It was sooo perfect! Then I rode for the next 30 minutes, and it was soooo freeing-if I ever feel stressed (which is often), I will be renting a jet ski! We also went to The Melting Pot-wow, is all I can say! It's a fondue restaurant-cheese, broth, and chocolate fondue! It was sooo good and we actually were there for 2 hours! You can never stay in a restaurant that long in America-only in Europe! I miss that. Here's a pic from it!

Oh! We also went to New Orleans! First we stopped by my brother's house and chatted for awhile. Then we were supposed to meet up with our friend Mike, from the UK, who was taking a trip across America with his friend, Barry. Well, the night before we got there, Mike and Barry went out drinking, and Barry went out on his own around 3 am. The cops brought Barry back around 12 pm the next day, and said he had been mugged. Mike went out for an hour, came back, and found his friend in the corridor with pills surrounding him-he tried to commit suicide!! So he has been admitted into the hospital, and Mike continued his journey to Texas. They might come here over the weekend, but I don't know how I feel about it.


Okay I'll start with the bad news...Emmey has been hurt for the past week. Her foot was bleeding and it was all cut up, so we took her to the vet, who gave her an injection of antibiotics and gave me cream to put on her feet. She also warned of pneumonia. So the next day or so, I noticed that her foot had chunks taken out of it and the bone was exposed. I couldn't figure out why, until yesterday, when Steve and I saw that Mikey, the other turtle, went straight for her foot and was nipping at it!!! So I had to separate them, and make up a tank for Emmey. Today, she has put her head in weird positions, which is a symptom of pneumonia. I don't think she has long to live. I'm taking her to the vet tomorrow though, I hope they can save her. She won't eat at all.

Okay, on to the good news...Dahria, my aunt, is wide awake!!! And she's been talking! Very low talking, but still! She asked my dad where my mom is! And then today, Chris, her husband, was saying how I came to visit her, and she said she wanted to talk to me! So Chris put me on the phone with her, and I was crying and telling her that I love her and that I'll see her next month! Then I told her that her daughter is like me when I was a teenager, and she smiled and looked at her daughter!! I am so happy. God has saved her, all it took was some faith and some prayers!!! I can't wait to talk to her again!!! This is my fave pic of her and her daughter:

Necklace

I just bought this necklace. I don't know why, but I thought it was so gorgeous, and my heart skipped a beat! That's when you know you have to have it!! It reminds me of romance and vintage...vintage romance, bam!!

I highly recommend that you check out Brittany Chavers' jewelry that she sells on Etsy! Here is her link: http://www.etsy.com/shop/BrittanyChavers

P.S. 3 more days until Steve is here!! YAY!!!

One Week

I had a bit of a breakdown the other night, as you all can tell. And then I got super angry on Sunday and was yelling, getting all of my pent up aggression out, and it helped, because today I was calm.

I do want to thank Lenae, once more, for being such a sweetheart and giving me a call when I was down. It's rare to find good, true friends anymore, so knowing I have one, no matter how far away we are from each other, or how long we don't talk for, is truly amazing. Thank you, Lenae, for showing me that some people in the world are actually genuine and true.

It's one more week until Steven gets here! British Airways canceled their strike, so he'll be here next Tuesday evening!!! I'm so excited, I really am! I have so much to do though before he gets here, like getting my eyebrows done!

Also, he was making fun of his stepsister for cross-stitching, until I told him that I used to love it! And I think I'm going to go get a cross-stitch kit and make one! It's super relaxing, if you've never tried it!!

Dahria is doing excellent! Her lungs are 1/3 cleared, and she's such a fighter. I can't wait for the day that I talk to her!!!

I hope everyone is doing well! Happy Monday!!

Tweeting

I'm on Twitter now, but only because my uncle created a page for my aunt so we can find out updates on her. So far so good, and she's getting so much better. I am so proud of her.

It really has been rough, for all of us. I've had bags under my eyes for ages now, even though I get enough sleep. My poor father has had anxiety attacks and was admitted in the hospital twice now.

I feel so alone. I am left alone every day with no one here who cares. My family cares, Steve cares, but no one else. It hurts, you know. I try not to let it bother me, but when I think about it, it just really sucks. I am going through such a rough time with a woman who has been like a second mother to me, and I've been ignored by my so-called friends here. They don't ever ask about Dahria, or me, or anything. I am left alone. And I can feel it.

I'm not unhappy, I just have my down days. This is one of them. I miss Steve so much, it hurts. I don't even know if he'll be coming out here at the end of May cause of British Airways going on strike. And I really want to know if I'll get my Visa so I can go to the UK and live with him. So many thorns have stood in our way, and they still are, and all I want to do is be with the one man I love. Physically be with him. I want to cry on his shoulder right now, and I've wanted to for the past few weeks since all of this happened. But yet, I am alone. Sitting on the couch, alone with my turtles.

I'm sorry for this negative blog. I really need to start writing in my journal instead of posting this on the internet.

I'm going to go read now, but I do hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. xx

My Godmother

My aunt, who is my Godmother, is in the hospital. I went out and saw her last week because I was worried and needed to see her. My whole family was there on my dad's side, including my dad who I haven't seen for 2 years. I haven't seen my aunt, Dahria, in 5 whole years!

She had this surgery that had complications, causing her to get infections and Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome-which is where the lungs get inflamed and "stiff", so she can't breathe on her own and is on life support. She is also heavily sedated, so she doesn't open her eyes. Although, one night, they lowered the sedation and she opened her eyes and looked right at me and the others, while we talked to her. It scared me but made me so happy because I knew she was there, listening to me talk to her. She is getting better though, and we all know she'll get through this.

It was nice seeing my family in one spot though-my 3 uncles were there, along with my dad, my grandparents, and my brother. I also saw Dahria's husband and their kids-it was nice seeing them too. The kids were shorter than me and children when I saw them last-now they are 12 and 14, taller than me, and little teenagers! I can't take it! Haha

During this trip, I really realized who my true friends are. I like to have these moments when I realize that. When situations present themselves, some friends will run away, and those that stay are the true ones. Although many of my "friends" knew about Dahria and how upset I was since I was crying on the phone to them and how I flew out last-minute, not one of them texted or called me, except for Arezou, my supervisor, and of course Steve. Even when I got back to work, none of those "friends" asked about Dahria, except my supe. So, this now opens my eyes and now I know how to deal with them. They are just acquaintances, people I don't care for. Some of you may think this is sad, but I think it's amazing and it's better to learn sooner than later. Someone who I thought used to be my best friend, who knew everything that was going on, has not bothered to text/call/FB me to find out. Wow.

So Steve is getting here at the end of the month, and I think we're going to go visit her again. I think it'd be great! I also got her a charm bracelet from Pandora-she is going to love it. I got her a Panda charm cause she loves pandas, her birthstone, and a purple charm cause she loves purple.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a good weekend and has a good week :)

Awww

This makes my heart happy...

The Monday Blues

Well, we have to wear blues on mondays anyway!

Today was an emotional day-many ups and downs! My first up was when we did Monkey Move Up for 3 miles! Whew! Then the day slowly spun downwards!

I went to the doctor today for a "weight management class", and let me tell you-hearing that you're "fat" about 5 times during that session really gets you down! I recently started loving my body after 24 years of torturing myself about it. I am happy with my curves. I work out 5 times a week so I feel good and healthy. But because of genetics and eating ice cream, I was called "obese" and "fat" many times today. He wants me to count my calories for the next 2 weeks so he can see what I am eating. But you know what? I've decided that I do not want to do this class because I don't need someone bringing down what I've worked hard to bring up after 24 years, and that's full-on confidence. And you know what? I lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks without even trying. So bam!

I was reading something in the doctor's office about how we don't give enough credit to our body-it gets us from place to place, it holds our happiness, it bears children, etc. Why don't we think this way? Well, we should. Our body is all we've got. This is us, so we need to embrace it and learn to love it cause it's all we have!! Why hate something for so long? It's a waste of time.

So yeah, I'm not doing this class. It'd only be nice to see a nutritionist just to see what kind of meals I can eat being a vegetarian.

I hope everyone is doing well!! :)

Happily Ever After

A lot of women these days don't believe in Happily Ever After because of the lame men who have jaded them. I was one of those women. My whole life I wanted a fairy-tale life. I wanted to meet Prince Charming and we would love each other and live happily ever after. After a few bad relationships, my dream was starting to diminish, but I still held hope somewhere. I really thought that it didn't exist-what you see on the movies doesn't exist.

All of that changed on November 1st, 2008, where I met my Prince Charming, and we've been living Happily Ever After since! I will never turn back, and I have hope for all women who deserve their Prince Charming!

So ladies, you can't lose hope just because you had a few bad seeds. Your Prrince Charming is out there if you keep wishing and hoping and having faith that he's waiting for you somewhere! :)

My Path

Last week wasn't such a great week. I had to deal with a lot of rude people, day after day, for a little over a week. It was quite disheartening and got to me towards the end, when I just broke out in tears. But talking to my uncle about it made me feel so much better. He told me to keep being positive because so many people are miserable in life, and I shouldn't fall into that. Naturally, I am not a pessimist, but life can get you down sometimes, so it's best to pray your way out of it!!

I offered to babysit my co-worker's 4 children, and tonight was the night. He wanted to do a date night with his wife! They have children ranging 8 months to 5 years old. Let me tell you...a family is what I am meant to have. I felt so complete, so whole. Just playing with them, feeding them, having them cuddle to me during the movie-all of it was exactly what it's supposed to be for me in the future. I thought I wanted 2 kids, but I don't know anymore! Those children worked so well together-the 5 year old acted more like an adult. He knew what was right and what was wrong, and he helped me with everything! All of them were angels. I can't wait to start my own family!! It's what I was put on this earth for, I just know it! They make everything okay.

Well, I can't wait to do it again! Some of you may think I'm crazy, but I love children!!

Goodnight everyone!! <3

Movie Time

Have you all ever gone to a movie theater by yourself? Well, I have. Once. I was in England, I didn't have any friends, and I really wanted to see a certain movie. And let me tell you-it was an amazing experience! Think about it-when you go to the movies with your friend, you're not exactly talking or interacting, so what's the point? So you can sit side-by-side for 2 hours?

My brother goes to the movies by himself all the time. I think that's awesome. So you know what? Because I miss doing it, I am going to go to a movie this week by myself. I don't like dealing with a lot of people here anyway, and I love hanging out with myself.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Just Breathe...

I've had a rough couple of days with my stomach! I don't know what's wrong with it-it just clenches up randomly. Oh well! I just hope to get better.

One thing I really miss about Steve is his singing. He is a wonderful singer, and I could listen to him all day. We listened to this song in his car, and I put it on a different day just so I can hear him sing. Now when I listen to this song, I want to cry. I get teary-eyed. This will pass, being upset. I've never felt this way about anyone, and when we are apart, it really feels like the other half of my heart is gone. Give me another week-I'll be okay again! Just 4.5 months left!

I hope everyone is having a very nice week! Almost the weekend! Sort of...

Lonely Night...

Ever since I left England, I have been pretty lonely at night. I miss Steve. A lot. I want to be in England, living with him, making real friends, everything. I keep to myself a lot here because I know I am leaving, and I don't want to get close to anyone. Besides, I don't know if I would anyway. I feel like an outsider anyway. But I chose this way of life. I didn't chose to be away from Steve, though. I tried to stay but my commander didn't sign the paperwork. It wasn't meant to be, but that's okay. I know I will be there in 4 quick months. I'm just tired, I guess. I watch Grey's Anatomy to fill the void, to feel like I am apart of something. To feel like Steve is here with me. To keep me distracted.

I don't normally talk about these things at all, but I needed to express it somehow. So for now, I guess I will continue watching Grey's and wait 4 months from now when I am with Steve and we are free.

Missing Home...

I just got back from England last night, and I miss it! I had the time of my life there! I felt like I was back at home. Everything about it is home to me! Steve had gotten us this beautiful hotel room in Lincoln, where we went shopping and met up with friends for dinner and drinks! It was so nice to see my old friends again. Then we headed over to Cornwall to see his mom, stepdad, dad, stepmom, and sister! I really had a great time with them-I think it was my favorite part of the trip! After that, we went to see his best friend and her husband, and then we headed to Windsor, which is where the Queen lives! I really loved walking around and seeing a castle right in front of us!

I then had a bad trip back. This woman made me so very angry, that I was about to curse her out really bad. She was so rude to me but didn't have the nerve to look me in the eye. I don't stand for that, you know? Welcome to America, right?!

So now I am back, missing England so much. But I'll be back soon! I know that! Hopefully these next few months will go by quick-I mean, they already have!

In the meantime, I'm going to be working on my tan! It's getting warmer here!

I hope everyone had a good week! :)

Duvet Day!

This week is been a-ok. I got a new stove put in, the walls painted so it doesn't smell like smoke, and they removed my cabinets and rangehood so they can replace them. So I cooked twice now and so far so good! I'm just very careful about the heat setting.

Yesterday I went to a friend's baby shower-it was actually pretty fun! Mostly cause I won 2 games and I never win anything! Yay! But seeing all the girly baby things was so cute-when I have kids, I want a girl first! That almost never happens in my family-only once! I'll have to ask Steve what his odds are!

I'm getting ready to see Steve, and I am SO excited!! I've also been trying to work out my whole Visa situation-it's a long process unfortunately, but I hope it gets done before I am due to go out there! I'm so excited to move out there!! He wants to take a trip to Venice in October-that would be so awesome! We LOVE Venice-it's our favorite!

I was talking to my Momma the other day about when she and Dad started dating. When they broke up one of their times, he'd completely stalk her! But back then, it was more flattering than anything! She said that one time she was driving with some friends on the parkway, and she looked over and saw Dad in his car pulled over to the side-the way the state troopers hide to catch speeding cars!! Haha! And one time she was at a place to take care of her immigration stuff, and a guy next to her gave her a note from my dad that said, "I'm right behind you" CREEPY! Hahaha but he paid for my mom and grandma's cab ride home. Anyway-I didn't realize my dad was THAT into my mom.

Today I am staying in bed! Why? Because my couch is uncomfy downstairs and I have convinced myself that I don't need to go to the food store. I hate going! Haha!

Here is a portion of my blog that is dedicated to Bacon Ross. Lenae-I'm sure you will enjoy this. I am only going to post this picture, and he will know what I mean! Enjoy, Bacon! Lenae-get these!

Have a wonderful day, everyone! 

Love Thyself

I just want to say...that I love myself! I love who I am, I love my mind, body, life, everything!! It has taken me 24 years to realize this, but I really love who I am and who I am becoming! I am completely satisfied with who I am and where I am going. I absolutely love my body-which is a huge thing for me and most women since we all tend to hate the only body we have! Well, forget that!!

My old journal says this:

Ultimately, you can't weight or measure anything about yourself that really matters. Your vision, integrity, passion, intelligence, and kindness will not register on a bathroom scale.

Women-remember that! Love yourself because you only get one life to live, so why waste it by picking out things you don't like about yourself? Start saying to yourself that you are beautiful, inside and out. And if you aren't satisfied about something of yourself, CHANGE IT! Simples!!! :)

Faith

God was right, I needed faith in Him! Well I held on, prayed a lot, and found out some great news...I was worried that they would cancel my leave for my PT test on Friday, BUT! They just said I am ineligible to re-enlist because of my referral EPR, which is fine by me because I am not planning to anyway. It is really nice of my command to try to work around this so I can get a good EPR, but I told my supervisor that I would be okay if I didn't.

So now I have started applying for the 9/11 Bill, but I am waiting for my acceptance letter from the University. Hopefully it'll come soon!

I went to my brother's over the weekend over in Mississippi, and it was fun! He cracks me up all the time. He's on this kick for Lent where he won't listen to music in the car. BOY OH BOY he nearly did when I was singing to him the whole time!! Haha!! It was hilarious-except I didn't know the words to the songs I was singing!

We went to his friend's going-away/his friend's daughter's early birthday party. His daughter, Brooklyn, is my brother's Goddaughter, and she is adorable!!  Look for yourself! :)

My brother is so good with children. It's awesome! Oh! And we went and saw Shutter Island. I'm not sure how I feel about it though. I don't like not knowing and questioning movies. Well, I won't give anything away.

Steve is in Italy snowboarding away! He loves it though! Do you know he went snowboarding for 7 whole hours today?!?! I told him that I'm no longer going to learn how to snowboard and go on holiday with him because that's just way too long for a whole week! Haha, I'm just glad he loves it so much.

England is coming up soon! Oh! And I'm thinking of getting my hair done this week. What do you think? I want this color and the bangs!

 

Alright, well I am going to watch some Grey's, surf the internet, and relax!! Happy Monday, everyone!! 

TGIF!

Well I just took my PT test, and I missed it by 1.33 points! But it's okay, because I lost about 8 pounds since last month, and my run time was so much better than last week and this past Monday! Woohoo! So I know I can shave about 30 seconds off my run time in 42 days! I think I will have to PT 5 times a week-which isn't a big deal cause I already do it 4 times a week. I'm pretty optimistic about it! Plus it all helps me lose weight, so that's always a bonus!

I am waiting at home for the stove to be delivered. They said between 8 and 12. At least I can shower at home instead of at the gym! Yuck! I don't like public showers!

Steve is off to our friend's Stag Do! I hope he has fun! Then he's off to Italy for a week for snowboarding! A tough life that guy leads! ;)

Faith, Love, Hope-I wanted to share that because I have worn the same ring since 2005 with that inscribed in it, I found that one my old journals has it on the cover, and the PTL today had Faith and Hope tattooed in Chinese on his arms. That's the theme today-I think God is trying to remind me of that :)

Rude Thursday!

It is one of those days where people are rude to me. I always tend to be nice-I smile at a lot of people while passing by and I greet cashiers and so on. But today! Man, today has been a day! At lunch, I called the delivery guy's phone so I can set a delivery up for Friday, and he says rudely to me, "It's my day off. Call Lowe's." The lady at Lowe's is no better-she was slightly rude!

Then! I'm at Walmart just now-the one place I absolutely dread and will not go into again I hope, and I only had like, 10 items, so I was in the 20 items or less line. These 2 guys were in front of me checking out, and this manager lady comes up to me and goes, "You're his last customer, okay?"...she was really nice actually. The moment she left, the cashier looks at me and says SOOO rudely to me that he's closed, and that he's been closed for 10 minutes! I was shocked!! I really wanted to complain, and I should have. Because you know what? No matter how bad my day is, I am NEVER rude to ANYONE.

People are really surprising me lately. This morning, I left for work and was about to turn right on a major road, and I saw this guy across the way in the left turning lane trying to steer and move his car at the same time, with no help! There were TONS of cars behind him and around him that didn't even bother to help. So I pulled over and helped push his car. Me. A female. With no help from anyone. This guy helped for a few seconds but ran off when he crossed the street, which I assume was his goal anyway! How rude!! We need to help each other out and BE NICE.

So to all of you rude people out there-you are jerks-people have it far worse than you so you have no right to be rude to others. We are in this together.

Phew! Sorry for the venting!

Nights Like These...

It's nights like these where I feel a little bit lonely. I think about how so many of my friends are cuddling up with their loved one right now, and how I am alone in this bed, and Steve is a well. You know? I know I take it for granted when I am with him, and I really shouldn't. No one should. I just miss him.

These weeks suck when he's on mornings. The only time we get to talk is when I wake up, and our conversation lasts for 15 minutes, and then at my lunch time for less than an hour. Then we say goodnight and the cycle continues. That's why I feel lonely-because I don't get to talk to him.

But I am so thankful that he is in my life. I'd rather be lonely but have him in my life than be lonely and not have him in my life at all.

For now, I will fill the void by watching mindless TV and surfing the internet, while occasionally looking at pictures of him. Hey-at least neither of us are deployed-we wouldn't even get that hour to talk during the day!

Oh well, 2 more weeks! Then I will be in his arms again, and I will get to feel normal! :)

I love this picture! He doesn't, but he has to deal with it! ;) 

Cold Wednesday

Brrrr it's been fuhreeezing today! It's only in the 40's, but it feels like it's 30 degrees!

For the past few months, I've been working hard at studying these things called CDCs for my upgrade. It's this terrible book where you have to memorize practically everything and then take a test. Nothing in the book makes sense at all, by the way. And you can't take leave while you're enrolled in them!!

So today I was studying away cause my test was supposed to be Friday, but it got pushed to Tuesday. Then my supervisor comes in and tells me the best news I have ever heard-that they canceled the CDCs!!!! They are too outdated and they are making new ones, so we don't have to take them! Best news ever! Now I can go to England to see Steve without having to worry about them! Yay!!!

It was a good day-just for that! My supe treated me and my troop to Panera, which was so nice of her, and it was deeeelish! Breadbowls are the best!

I'm going to cuddle up to a blanket, think about Steve, and watch some Grey's!

Have a great evening!!

Rainy Monday

Today was a good day. I haven't really had any of those in awhile-like a nothing-is-wrong day. I was woken up at 3 am to hail and a thunderstorm, then it was pouring on the way to work, and there was a huge accident on the highway.

I got to talk to my love though, which is always great! He's on the stupid early schedule, so I only get to talk to him for a maximum of a half hour in the morning and at lunch time, then a few minutes after work. I'm thankful for it though!

I got a lot of studying done for CDCs, which I needed!! Then I ran 1.5 miles with my supe and did really well! I was so proud. I hope I am this good on my PT test on Friday!! Wish me luck!!

Plus it ended up being a beautiful day, which is always a plus!!

Anyway, I'm going to make a yummy microwavable meal (since I can't cook yet), watch some Grey's, and study some more CDCs!

I hope you all are having a wonderful day as well!!  

Sunny Sunday

It's been a week since I updated on my fire-it's been quite a journey. The place stunk of smoke for a few days after the fire, so I tried to light candles and air the place out. I bought a ton of microwavable meals to get me through the next week or so since I can't cook. At least the turtles are okay!

It was a nice weekend this weekend. I went shopping in the mall with a friend, then went out with the girls on Saturday. It's nice to get out of the house once in awhile. I tend to stay inside most days-which I'm really okay with, but it's nice to get out too.

I was also able to catch the sunset yesterday. It was beautiful. See for yourself!

 

I've been watching the Kardashian show-which I was always against-but it's actually quite entertaining! The thing I like about them is how close they are as a family-it seems they manage to see each other nearly everyday, and they go to events and support each other in everything. Although things get a bit too far and too sexual for my liking, I appreciate the family sentiment. 

This is going to be a tough week for me-there will be many challenges that I hope I can face. I'll just keep in mind that I'm visiting Steve soon and will get many kisses and cuddles! 

Keep smilin! :)

Bad Ending...

Although this is my favorite day of the year, it seems that it has ended pretty badly.

I went to Wal-Mart, bought some tofu for once, some wontons and some other things to make tofu wontons. I was super excited to make them! So I started the process, was done cooking the tofu and cabbage stuff, then was heating the oil in the wok. I look over and BAM! Huge fire! I didn't know what to do, I grabbed the fire extinguisher but didn't know how to use it. So I ran outside, saw a neighbor, screamed over to her, she came running and totally put it out for me-she's such a Saint.

Then my neighbors came and turned off the smoke detector downstairs and brought in a fan to help air the house down. That was sooo nice of them!!

My house has dust everywhere, but that's easily cleanable. At least the turtles and myself are okay!!

So, Happy Valentine's Day to me. Time to order for delivery!

The BEST Holiday!

Happy Valentine's Day! This is by far the best holiday, in my opinion! It's all about loving each other, and I'm all about love! One year ago today, Steve and I were in Rome, Italy, getting to know each other really well! This trip really defined our relationship, I think! We got so close during this time!

My Steve sent me some beautiful flowers for this special day. I wish we could have been together, but we will be next V-day and all the ones after that!

Enjoy this day, everyone, because it's an excuse to only love on this particular day!! Love is the best! <3

Challenges

I had a pretty rough day yesterday. I had some bad news, but thank God, it all worked out! I won't go into details though.

Anyway, Jonathan and I were supposed to visit my grandparents this weekend, but we aren't going to. It's supposed to snow here! Can you believe it?? It's Florida!

I'm going to England soon! I am SOOO excited! I can't wait to see my love, my friends, the High Street, New Look, etc. Haha!

Also, all of us need to realize how precious life is. We all have to cherish it and try to live our life to the fullest. There are many people out there who are less fortunate than us, and it's important that we pray for those who may be going through a difficult time, and try to appreciate our lives. So do what you love, and don't hold back, because you never know if you'll get that chance again.

Live, laugh, love. Best words i've ever heard. <3

Song

I don't tell many people this, or really show it, but I LOOOVE to sing. I know it's a good day when I'm singing. Lately I've been playing a couple of ballads from Christina Aguilera in my car, and absolutely singing my heart out. It makes me feel free, like I am in my own world, alone, and able to be myself completely. When I sing in front of others, I joke around, I'm terrible, but when I'm in my car, I feel like I'm the best singer in the world! I know I'm not, but for that moment, I like to feel like I'm Christina with her beautiful voice. This ritual really starts my day off right. It's a moment when I don't stress. It's a moment that I get all of my frustrations out by singing.

I am thinking of highlighting my hair, but I'm not sure. I usually like to keep in mind that I need to stay natural since that's the way I was made. But you let me know! I love to try new things, especially confidence-boosting things, and a good hairstyle always does that!

Pink Tink

Today was an alright day. I got to come in late, which was totally awesome! Then after work, I ran 3 miles-it was pretty tough. I wish I could just be a good runner and not so slow. I don't know.

So now I'm watching Grey's, which is one of my favorite shows. McDreamy really reminds me of Steve-maybe it's the way he looks at Meredith with a smile in his eyes. Steve looks at me like that. It's like, you know that everything will be okay, and you feel like the most loved person in the world. I know McDreamy is just a character, but I like to be reminded of my Steve everyday, in any way that I can. He's my everything, he really is. He's the bestest friend I could ever ask for, and so much more that I never expected out of anyone. I am grateful everyday for the night we met, because things would have been so much more different than they are now, and right now, I am in complete bliss.

I hope all of you get to experience this fairy tale love, and that you keep it close to you for the rest of your life. :)